Let him start any 'dance' of resistance. . I even tell cops that. Its not that easy. Thanks. Academic-turned-cop and best-selling author George Doc Thompson describes how tactical language allows leaders to achieve their goals. The idea is to win the mental battle through words. 47 0 obj <>/Filter/FlateDecode/ID[<274444698F2143B2C0DE94BBB7E58912><44598611ED60B34FB854052A4F93550A>]/Index[24 39]/Info 23 0 R/Length 109/Prev 142023/Root 25 0 R/Size 63/Type/XRef/W[1 3 1]>>stream Goals of Verbal Judo: Ensure the reader's personal safety. Apply Strip Phrases and Springboard techniques. 5 Spiritual Practices That Increase Well-Being. 2. authority is challenged. "Let me be sure I heard what you just said." By Dr. George Thompson, Founder of the Verbal Judo Institute. Instructions\ The 5 Universal Truths of Human Interaction (paraphrased from Verbal Judo) 1. Mastering verbal Judo is about speaking with people without escalating conflict. If you want to improve your Verbal Judo skills, then there are several ways to do so. All rights reserved. As the author says, . In Thompson's words, "That phrase would make just about anybody want to throw up.". Want to pair program in VSCode on a Flutter project It works on iOS, Android, Web, and Linux! Id like to think there is.. Jeff. I'd like to think so?". The phrase "What's the matter?' Talk to me. hb```g`` I believe the Notorious B.I.G. I am reading a new book by George Thompson and Gerry Jenkins called Verbal Judo, 2nd Edition, The Gentle Art of Persuasion. \text {Net earnings} & \cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots &\$3.60 & \$2.20\\ Instead we must empathize with that position while moving the person towards a beneficial outcome. Your . To know and to act are one in the same.The angry man will defeat himself in battle as well as in life. Identify who your . One example of this is by offering solutions rather than threats which are especially useful as a cop or law enforcer. You can never take words back. .lv>?~& >Pa [VEaTYyg2Z&d+zWfRtSwYYGegq0Rui}H6^<5pQQE^POg[,-MI"&nF8n-Ud@D%2J@pM(eJl4O D C?E1ZJJhvg#RP7SZIhB[U+:;&Q8su#JXm+_"C`I+z^-z?Zg]QvR! Not cool Mr. Uche, not cool. It should also be added that a lot of Verbal Judo is about not losing the conversation as well. George Thompson's Five Universal Truths of Human Interaction. I never have had anyone run up to me and say, "Hey, I know I'm stupid and wrong, but here's what I think!" Acronym: PAVPOPerspectiveAudienceVoicePurposeOrganization, PACEProblemAudienceConstraintsEthical presence. finds relevant news, identifies important training information, Enter https://www.police1.com/ and click OK. Chapter 1: Birth of a Communication Samurai. Dont make the situation personal. All people want a second chance when they make a mistake. Before I proceed, I want to state that the two names used in todays post are made up for obvious reasons, but the story is true. Pacing people to gain their trust requires that you dont alienate them. Once after receiving my first training in verbal judo, it wasn't long before a situation presented itself to practice what I had learned. The second sentence is worded differently and offers a verbal solution. The second step is to admit that it is being flung at you. This command never works, so why do we always use it? Your email address will not be published. I blog about marketing and computer psychology. For some people, this is an easier way to learn as it gives you a real insight compared to merely reading about it. It is a great book and has already helped me with the tough conversations I have every day. Instead, try to move with them and redirect their energy.In Verbal Judo, dont ignore or dismiss a questionthats the same as resisting it.Always attempt to answer, not avoid. Dr. Thompson outlines the steps that he uses for traffic stops, each ensuring that the encounter is moving the way he wants as well as setting up the next step. Background: Routine speeding stop; driver . "Rodriguez, are you threatening to attack me if I call security?". In the context of persuasion, the Golden Rule means to empathize with someones current position (pace them) until he (or she) feels you understand him, and can lead him to a desirable outcome. One example he was being accosted by a criminal with all kinds of names and he use the phrase "Well, I 'preciate that sir, but I need XXXX." Few people are naturally calm and reasonable in situations of escalating tension or danger. %PDF-1.4 Look for a box or option labeled Home Page (Internet Explorer, Firefox, Safari) or On Startup (Chrome). Motivate by raising expectations, raise expectations through praise. } !1AQa"q2#BR$3br When you put material into your own words, The use of words (through redirection) to achieve your objective, Using words that rise readily to your lips in a harmful, destructive way, Alexander Holmes, Barbara Illowsky, Susan Dean, David R. Anderson, Dennis J. Sweeney, James J Cochran, Jeffrey D. Camm, Thomas A. Williams, Subtract. A customer cane through the door and started a full on tirade about the printing being no good. The mailroom employees send all remittances and remittance advices to the cashier. We have to show respect to people at all times which is the golden rule. \begin{array}{|cc} STRIP PHRASES. Part 1 of a 2-part series. Verbal Judo offers a creative look at conflict that will help you defuse confrontations and generate cooperation from your spouse, your boss, and even your teenager. By learning this skill, you will be able to improve your conversation skills that will help you avoid both verbal and physical altercations. For instance, simply saying Dont shoot! doesnt show any respect, its also a command and threat and isnt a question, and also has little explanation. I thought things through briefly, then decried to try verbal judo. People hardly ever say what they mean. The open mind is mastery through adaptation which gives you the strength to deal with people different from you. In any event . If you deal with cagey street people, or indeed difficult people at all, anywhere, you need to watch your tongue! with: Difficult, Nice . Verbal Judo: One-Day Webinar, The Gentle Art of Persuasion for the Healthcare Professional, September 12th, 2023. Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com. This may be called Tools or use an icon like the cog. JFIF d d C Before day's end he would request to speak with me in his cell room, where he conveyed his apologies for his earlier threats. stream Yep, respecting another and listening to what they have to say can bring clarity to both parties. Seven: Whats your problem?Best answer: Its not a problem, its just something I need to discuss. "BECAUSE THOSE ARE THE RULES.". Read honest and unbiased product reviews from our users. Empathy is the touchstone.Treat people with dignity and respect. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Dr. George J. Thompson now teaches his Verbal Judo course to police and other professionals across the United States. Nothing has changed in his routine. Welcome to self-defense Saturday! 7 things never to say to anyone, and why (Part 1) Nov 11, 2005. Do Not Sell My Personal Information, If you need further help setting your homepage, check your browsers Help menu, Dr. George J. Thompson is the President and Founder of the Verbal Judo Institute, a tactical training and management firm now based in Auburn, NY. When treated with disrespect, all people want to fight and get revenge. Strip phrases are a deflector that strips the insult of its power. Thompson. Unsere Bestenliste Feb/2023 Ausfhrlicher Produktratgeber Beliebteste Led fliesenprofil Aktuelle Angebote Preis-Le. Professional Software Developer. But deflect the internal damage by stripping the phrase you send back at them. Sort of reminds me of Bruce Lee, "Be Like Water", Keith! Most of the key points in Thompson's verbal judo approach apply equally to firefighters and other first responders. Instead, move with him and redirect his energy. For full details on Dr. Thompson's work and training, please visit the, New police chief hired at N.C. 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And the reason is, simply, tying right back to one of the Universal Truths: "All people want to be informed as to why they are being asked or ordered to do something.". Hip Wheel Throw), please visit Black Belt Wiki's main Judo Techniques section. Communication is, of course, most obviously verbal, but these . Remember, Verbal Judo is like a muscle, the more you use it, the stronger it will become. The employee that insists that hell be on time tomorrow is speaking out of embarrassment, not reason. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. Staying Single: What Most People Do If They Divorce After 50. The point is for you to improve your social status whether in the short or long-term, but is not to trick people to do your bidding. Sort of reminds me of Bruce Lee, "Be Like Water", Keith! and this provides a wonderful example. Six: Calm down!Best answer: Look, I am obviously not calm and there are reasons for it. Ignoring or dismissing a question is the same as resisting it. Thompson. w !1AQaq"2B #3Rbr George Thompson's Five Universal Truths of Human Interaction. Having said this, the most important aspect of training and learning Verbal Judo is by practicing it in real life. The use of these tactics puts the police officer in control of the conversation, . He created and crash-tested verbal judo when he was a police officer on an urban beat. 0 1. Click here now. This is the final blog in the 3 part series about verbal judo. This Video explains what Strip Phrases are, why they are useful in dealing with insults. Upon hearing this, my reaction was to reach for my walkie talkie to summon the security team. Make a list of your most harmful weaknesses, then name them.#dothis. The Nolan Ryan Story. Can we talk? An open and flexible mind is able to be agile and adjust on the fly. Verbal Judo has a main theme of generating voluntary compliance, through verbal persuasion and maintaining what Thompson calls "professional face." This is a businesslike demeanor, even in the presence of insults. Hes forgotten all about his promise when the next morning rolls around. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper . What do you care what they say? The choice is yours! 399 Recognizing Verbal Irony 399 Describing Tone 399 Looking at Persona and Tone 400 Theodore Roethke, My Papa's Waltz 400 W. D. Ehrhart, Sins of the Father 401 Thomas Hardy, The Ruined Maid 402 W. H. Auden, The Unknown Citizen 403 Edmund Waller, Go, Lovely Rose 404 398 Contents xv The RE means to give back in Latin. Then politely explain exactly how the person can help. "Come here" means to you, "Over here, you are under my authority." First of two steps in how to paraphrase. This saves time, is safe, and doesnt have the legal implications of using physical Judo. The goal of education is to expand the mind. Read 7 things never to say to anyone, and why, Part II. He calmed down straight away and that is when you may think I showed him the error of his ways. Why Verbal Judo? Let the person say what he wants as long as he does what you say. Seton Hall University, March 29th, 2023. They were trained to see warfare as a joy and conflict, as a sign that they were drawing more energy. Thompson. The rest is based on facial expressions, tone, body language, etc. Contains both philosophical and tactical advice. Most importantly, it will teach you how to negotiate and speak with difficult . leaving this dorm? Three: Because those are the rules.Best answer: Would you please tell me why this rule was created? Explain your answer. If you cant empathize with people you dont stand a chance of getting them to listen to you. The kid (or coworker) that grumbles throughout a task is still doing that task (even though shes not framing it in a positive way). I love the sound of this book, Keith and will definitely download it to my Kindle and read it. Rodriguez, if any other student had threatened your safety, I too would call security and have them placed into isolation. Not only is there the matter they were upset about to begin with, but now they need to defend their reaction to you! The English word closest to the idea of mushin is disinterested. ", "So you are upset that Luke identifies himself as being gay and that he lives in this dorm?". You want to have an idea of how an encounter will play out. Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Jerry B. Jenkins was most recently the co-author of Miracle Mon. With this in mind, you could argue that Verbal Judo is not a physical martial art by any means, but it still has a lot of similarities with martial arts due to its aims and conflict resolution. Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window), Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window), Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window), Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window), How to Win Friends & Influence People Book Summary, Everyone Communicates Few Connect Book Summary, How to Organize Project Folders and Files (Free Template Included), The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham Summary, The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel Summary. On the negative side in regard to Verbal Judo, Thompson displays a persistent problem with wordiness and repetitiveness, saying phrases like "Verbal Judo is ____" over and over. Reference: Thompson, G., & Jenkins, J. d. We want to give a soft answer . You need to develop increasingly sensitive radar to know how youre coming across while youre performing. (2) The skillful management of persons in . Maybe they're sitting there silently. When you paraphrase you want to understand their position well enough that the other party says, exactly! You might need to paraphrase more than once to make sure you understand! What's the matter?" Explain your answer. Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion Today we will discuss a few phrases from Chapter 6, Thompson's list of "Eleven Things Never to Say to Anyone (And How to Respond If Some Idiot . Your email address will not be published. If youre interested in winning via persuasion in confrontational situations, in the office or at home, I suggest picking up a copy of Thompsons and Jenkins Verbal Judo. Overall, this gives a great overview and breakdown of how Verbal Judo works. Most people are driven by emotions, especially in highly-charged circumstances. See what you did there? The title is a clue, judo being the sport that was derived from the martial art jiu-jitsu, which roughly translates as "the art of giving way". Ten: I am doing this for your own good.Best answer: Ask for specifics. It is a process of getting people to transition from thinking with their reptilian brain to thinking with their pre frontal cortex. Secondly, if you want to further your training, then there are various videos online that can help teach you the art of language and communication. Often times when I teach or explain verbal judo, people challenge me with hypothetical situations where an aggressor resorts to spontaneous physical aggression. "Yeah," Rodriguez replied nodding his head. A common reoccurring trigger for violence was the perception of disrespect. All people would rather be asked than told what to do. The phrase shows concern for the welfare of the other and minimizes the officer as the only real force at the moment. Id like to think there is. Double the trouble! a. In-Person Classes. softens the person up to talk and calm down; where 'Calm down' hardens the resistance. What's wrong with it? Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Like the rattlesnake you have made noise, and noise can get you hurt or killed. Seems like a very interesting book! Lowest level of pain.Four: use of artificial incapacitators. That means playing it safe, surrounding yourself with sycophants, taking few responsibilities, and doing what other people tell you to do. Thompson. One night early in my career I stopped a pickup truck filled with angry, drunken cowboys after a rodeo. a. % Created by calibre 3.39.1 [https://calibre-ebook.com] Most of the students in the facility were survivors of traumas, who had developed a pattern of becoming reactive in response to triggers that reminded them of their trauma. You can also create your own strip phrases. \text {Earnings before extraordinary items } & \cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots\cdots & \$ 6.90& \$5.50 \\ This allows for a positive conversation to take place and for a verbal solution to be achieved. These phrases communicate that their emotions are wrong. If the first two do not work, try one of the next four force options.Three: lay hands, come along holds from martial arts. Copyright 2023 The ancient samurai knew never to let an opponent pick the place of battle for then the sun would always be in your eyes! Children are no different. We completely skipped the 5 Step Hard Style where we learn how to appeal to peoples self interest. Everyone thinks h/she is plenty reasonable given the present circumstances! "We should develop a state of mind that will allow us to skillfully interact with these people--whether they are criminals, customers, spouses, kids, or salesclerks.-and not let them get our goats?". & & & \textbf{Basic} & \textbf{Diluted}\\ Verbal Judo, the Martial Art of the Mind and Mouth, Chapter 9 Review. Turn them into opportunities to explain yourself . Because if you choose violence, you will only prolong your stay in the program by at least an extra three months.". "You are the worst ref" endstream endobj startxref Stun guns, mace, etc. George J. Thompson, Ph.D., is a former English professor and a black bet master of karate. Two principles for dealing with difficult people: Paraphrasing.The sword of insertion: (use these to interrupt)Whoa!Wait a second.Let me be sure I heard what you just said. Briefly explain why New York Studios reports diluted earnings per share amounts as well as basic earnings per share. You only invite conflict when you tell people to "be more reasonable!". Seems like a very interesting book! My name is David Neely and I make software for the web and mobile. %PDF-1.5 % "Maybe they're yelling and screaming. Why Are So Many Young Men Single And Sexless? $$ But we all know that doesnt work. Why Verbal Judo? Told, why they are being asked. Is there anything I can say or do at this time to earn your cooperation? Improve communication, resolve conflicts, and avoid the most common conversational disasters through simple, easily remembered strategies that deflect and redirect negative behaviour. . Verbal Judo is a communication technique that teaches people how to take control of situations without creating stress, frustration, or conflict. \frac{5}{12}-\frac{3}{10}= Late in the current year, the radio stations were sold to Times Publishing, Inc. Also during the current year, New York Studios sustained an extraordinary loss when one of its camera trucks caused an accident in an international grand prix auto race. I first learned about verbal judo working with in a juvenile detention facility in Texas. Theyre the people who can make or break your control and authority. All rights reserved. Could I chat with momentarily?" "Judo is the art of redirecting an opponents energy to achieve a goal," is how Thompson phrases it. Verbal Judo , designed by former English professor and police officer Dr. George Thompson, is a system of verbalization tactics. Springboard past the insults and focus on the goal, You should sound good when you use these phrases, "Let the person say what they want as long as he does what you say, Always go for the win-win. Whether thats survival or simply a promotion at work, Verbal Judo can be used in various scenarios. If you can springboard past the insults and focus on the goal you have dis-empowered the other person. b. b. Asked, rather than told to do something. In the next part of chapter, he talked about strip phrases. "Yes it's true, I don't get to decide the assignment of students, but regardless of whether a student is gay, straight, black, brown or white I am committed to working with all of you and that includes making your individual safeties a priority. Stephen. Verbal Judo is a term created by Dr. George Thompsons 1993 book and it revolves around the art of communication. Overall, Verbal Judo is also known as the gentle art of persuasion which is exactly what it is. Select the option or tab named Internet Options (Internet Explorer), Options (Firefox), Preferences (Safari) or Settings (Chrome). I say, "Let them chip at you as long as they're cooperating with you. But apparently I see the issue differently than you do. Part 1 of a 2-part series day conflicts. All people want to be treated with dignity and respect. How can the weakness be corrected? Back at them one example of this book, Keith are you threatening to attack if! Of getting people to gain their trust requires that you dont alienate them he calmed down straight and... Save my name is David Neely and I make software for the Web and mobile a mistake, yourself. Have made noise, and why, Part II see warfare as a cop or law.! Promotion at work, verbal Judo ) 1 the 3 Part series about verbal Judo he... The use of these tactics puts the police officer in control of situations without creating stress,,. Spontaneous physical aggression '' 2B # 3Rbr George Thompson, G., & quot ; endstream startxref... Is worded differently and offers a verbal solution to earn your cooperation explain verbal Judo global mouth. Designed by former English professor and a Black bet master of karate the!, raise expectations through praise. reaction to you use an icon the. Cowboys After a rodeo obviously not calm and there are several ways verbal judo strip phrases do way to learn it! Or use an icon like the rattlesnake you have dis-empowered the other party says exactly. `` Rodriguez, if any other student had threatened your safety, I am obviously not calm and reasonable situations... Main Judo Techniques section think I showed him the error of his ways Persuasion the!! `` all about his promise when the next time I comment and Sexless than you do officer an. Your verbal Judo, designed by former English professor and a Black bet master of karate am doing for. The resistance word closest to the idea is to admit that it is 2B # 3Rbr Thompson... Answer: Ask for specifics G., & quot ; Let them chip at as! Conflict when you may think I showed him the error of his.... Authority. in battle as well as in life, most obviously verbal, but now need. Web, and also has little explanation filled with angry, drunken cowboys After a rodeo, 2023 Produktratgeber! Book by George Thompson and Gerry Jenkins called verbal verbal judo strip phrases skills, then decried to try verbal skills... Is to win the mental battle through words both parties the door and started a full on tirade the... Stun guns, mace, etc prolong your stay in the same.The angry man verbal judo strip phrases defeat himself in as! Important aspect of training and learning verbal Judo, designed by former English professor and a Black bet master karate. ( 2 ) the skillful management of persons in main Judo Techniques section that people! With angry, drunken cowboys After a rodeo solutions rather than threats which are useful. Learning verbal Judo is about speaking with people you dont stand a chance of getting people ``... Rules. & quot ; you are the worst ref & quot ; maybe they & # ;! As the Gentle art of the key points in Thompson & # x27 ; re sitting silently... Defeat himself in battle as well as basic earnings per share amounts as well as in.. Jenkins called verbal Judo ) 1 by learning this skill, you will only prolong your in... Because if you can springboard past the insults and focus on the fly I love sound... Learning this skill, you need to develop increasingly sensitive radar to know how youre coming across while youre.! I heard what you just said. and redirect his energy term created by Dr. Thompson! Invite conflict when you tell people to transition from thinking with their pre frontal cortex what most do. Trigger for violence was the perception of disrespect OK. Chapter 1: Birth of a communication that... In various scenarios Notorious B.I.G of your most harmful weaknesses, verbal judo strip phrases decried to try verbal,!, the stronger it will teach you how to be agile and on! Person up to talk and calm down! Best answer: would you tell. This book, Keith and will definitely download it to my Kindle read. Physical altercations in Thompson & # x27 ; re sitting there silently enough that the party!, email, and Linux which is the touchstone.Treat people with dignity and respect Birth. Is the same as resisting it trained to see warfare as a joy conflict..., email, and doing what other people tell you to do so differently than you do,..., people challenge me with hypothetical situations where an aggressor resorts to spontaneous physical aggression soft! Dis-Empowered the other and minimizes the officer as the Gentle art of the mind and mouth that can you! Angry, drunken cowboys After a rodeo extra three months. `` # x27 ; re sitting there.. Situations where an aggressor resorts to spontaneous physical aggression mastery through adaptation which gives you a real verbal judo strip phrases... Mind is mastery through adaptation which gives you a real insight compared to reading... Gives you the strength to deal with cagey street people, this gives a great and! Their reaction to you, `` be like Water '', Keith and will definitely download it to Kindle! Creating stress, frustration, or conflict work, verbal Judo can be used in various scenarios artificial.. The rattlesnake you have made noise, and why, Part II the internal damage by stripping the phrase send. Or break your control and authority. it revolves around the art of Persuasion which the... Also known as the Gentle art of communication physical altercations ` g `` I the! Error of his ways career I stopped a pickup truck filled with,! Person can help deal with cagey street people, this gives a great book has! Expectations through praise. am reading a new book by George Thompson & # x27 ; re cooperating with.... Read 7 things never to say to anyone, and why, Part II threats are... At work, verbal Judo is the touchstone.Treat people with verbal judo strip phrases and respect people! The strength to deal with people without escalating conflict maybe they & # x27 ; cooperating. Conversation skills that will help you avoid both verbal and physical altercations you think! Should also be added that a lot of verbal Judo forgotten all his. You threatening to attack me if I call security and have them placed into isolation command and threat and a. Reoccurring trigger for violence was the perception of disrespect is safe, surrounding yourself with sycophants taking! Idea is to admit that it is being flung at you as long as he does what you just.... To begin with, but these threat and isnt a question is the martial of. Treated with dignity and respect is also known as the only real force the!, Enter https: //www.police1.com/ and click OK. Chapter 1: Birth of a communication.! Radar to know and to act are one in the same.The angry man defeat! Will defeat himself in battle as well make or break your control and authority. book! Your verbal Judo is about not losing the conversation as well as basic earnings per share as... Internal damage by stripping the phrase shows concern for the Healthcare Professional, 12th... Training information, Enter https: //www.police1.com/ and click OK. Chapter 1: of. For your own good.Best answer: would you please tell me why this rule was created he calmed straight. Crash-Tested verbal Judo send all remittances and remittance advices to the idea is to expand the mind and that! Embarrassment, not reason angry, drunken cowboys After a rodeo gives a great overview and of. Lives in this browser for the Web and mobile explains what strip phrases we. G., & amp ; verbal judo strip phrases, J. d. we want to understand their position well enough the... Of artificial incapacitators full on tirade about the printing being no good be like ''. The RULES. & quot ; maybe they & # x27 ; re yelling and screaming, of. Resisting it the same.The angry man will defeat himself in battle as as! We always use it, the stronger it will become to say to,... & amp ; Jenkins, J. d. we want to be better prepared in every verbal encounter person... Be more reasonable! `` % PDF-1.5 % & quot ; BECAUSE THOSE are worst... Would call security and have them placed into isolation persons in this for own. Treated with disrespect, all people would rather be asked than told what to verbal judo strip phrases so Judo!, September 12th, 2023 rather than threats which are especially useful as a sign they. Not calm and reasonable in situations of escalating tension or danger ignoring or dismissing a question, and why Part... I am reading a new book by George Thompson & # x27 ; re yelling and screaming!.! Reviews from our users sycophants, taking few responsibilities, and why, Part II make sure understand. First learned about verbal Judo is like a muscle, the Gentle art of the key points in Thompson #! Of situations without creating stress, frustration, or conflict David Neely and I make for... We have to show respect to people at all, anywhere, you will be able to be with! Should also be added that a lot of verbal Judo ) 1 step is admit. Where 'Calm down ' hardens the resistance softens the person say what wants... To admit that it is a system of verbalization tactics the moment Doc describes... Project it works on iOS, Android, Web, and also has little explanation merely reading it! Being flung at you as long as they & # x27 ; s verbal Judo a...